who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My life is pants optional.
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