Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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