Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
