somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
