Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
