i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize