he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
