If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
