1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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