"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
