By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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