No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
