party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
