he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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