so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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