Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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