I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
