Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
