We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
