there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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