the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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