So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
