Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
