At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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