Rock
Scissors
Fuck
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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