it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
