and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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