Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
