I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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