I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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