she looked like the bat from fern gully.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Randomize
