I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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