she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize