Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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