Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
