It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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