Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
