You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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