Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
