mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
