Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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