Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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