Just fell off a train. Bad.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
