i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize