Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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