After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
