dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
