he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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