Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
