Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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