what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I could make wine with my vomit
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
