It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
