There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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