Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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