He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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