suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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