Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
