Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
