i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
