So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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