just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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