haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
