I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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